Racist Paris Terrorizes India
First of all, God bless that little girl in the yellow sundress because she alone was brave enough to confront her parents about the mess they had gotten her into: “Who the fuck is this bitch? She smells like vomit and olive loaf, and I think her wig just growled at me. Get me the fuck out of here! I want to go home and play with my pet cheetah, Chester! What? What do you mean, don’t look behind me? Why? HAS SHE DONE SOMETHING? HAS SHE DONE SOMETHING TO CHESTER? Oh my God, not Chester! Not my beautiful little Chester! I’LL KILL HER! I’ll kill her wig and make a skirt out of its fur!”
Yeah, please ignore me. I am tired as hell this morning, which means I am finding humor in the weirdest shit. Anyway, for some fucking reason, Paris is in India this week, and the people of Mumbai decided to throw her a party. Why? Don’t they care about protecting their city from random acts of biological terrorism? Shaking hands with Paris Hilton is like taking a dump in a toilet and playing with your feces afterwards. And judging by the look of that wig, it has not been properly vaccinated, nor has it been checked for rabies.
Paris, keep this shit up and I am reporting your ass to the animal abuse people! If you want to see a good example of proper wig care, then look no further than Wig Jolie! Wig Jolie got all her vaccinations and she goes to the vet every six months for a checkup. And while it is abundantly clear that you keep your wig in a pet carrier, Wig Jolie is allowed to frolic in the countryside and chase squirrels up a tree!
I am so disappointed in you, Paris. Treating your wig with such disrespect! Oh, and speaking of disrespect, how do you think Racist Paris reacted to being in Mumbai? “Oh, hello, little girl! Where are your parents? Do you need any hel – oops! Careful! You almost stepped in shit! What? Oh, that’s your sister? Well, you Indians certainly are...brown, aren’t you? Yes, you are. Well, how would you like to come upstairs and shine my shoes for me? Have you been deloused, or should we stop by the veterinarian first?”
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I believe the people of India believed they should manage Paris's time in their country. This saves them a lot of time because they know exactly who will need medical attention the next day.
Sep 29 at 10:34amThat little girl kicks a$$! Her face just screams "who is this "b*tch and why the hell do I have to post with her?"
And Chester the Cheetah? Love it!
Sep 29 at 10:35amPOSE! I meant POSE!
Dammit!
Sep 29 at 10:36amTwin, scary thing is that the loons see no problem with Crab Cakes and her conduct. They think that shoe-shining remarks are just part of casual conversation, and that animal torturers make great parents.
Sep 29 at 10:37amLMAO, AG! I see what you did there! Paris is wearing a cheetah-print shirt! Poor little girl! She looks so disturbed standing next to Paris!
Sep 29 at 10:37amAB and Head Troll, LMAO! And Jen, I totally agree. Racist Paris and racist loons have a lot in common!
Sep 29 at 10:38amOF, I think it's time to make Tandoori Crabcakes, from a safe distance, of course. *fills Super Soaker*
Sep 29 at 10:39amTwin, that is so true! All of that constant gorging has desensitized the loons!
Sep 29 at 10:41amHead Troll, that little girl cracks me up! She looks horrified!
Sep 29 at 10:42amAB, I saw that song you and Team Wig came up with! I was laughing for hours!
Sep 29 at 10:43amOF, I am glad I made you laugh! =)
Sep 29 at 10:43amhttp://i52.tinypic.com/jv6ayt.gif
Sep 29 at 10:44amYay, we got multiple post spammed by AG herself!
Sep 29 at 10:44amYes, I'm a complete and utter dork! That's what my coffee mug says!
Sep 29 at 10:44amAnd this one is just to make an even four!
Sep 29 at 10:45amOh my God, Head Troll. I am head over heels with that clip! FFP is a genius! Give her a hug for me!
Sep 29 at 10:45amlmao, Head Troll! So he has a habit of stepping in shit? More like he rolls around in it. And eats it, presumably, since he's full of it.
Sep 29 at 10:45amAnd yes, I am not above spamming my own blog! =) Someone should make a formal complaint and send me to Banned Camp.
Sep 29 at 10:46amWe saw that interview together (just to poke fun at him) and FFP literally said that if he'd acted more nervous, he'd be sweating bullets.
Next thing you know, that gif pops up on FF......*sshhhhhhh*
Sep 29 at 10:47amLove you, Greek Girl! Love it when you stop by!
Sep 29 at 10:47amLMAO, Head Troll! Another homerun by FFP!
Sep 29 at 10:47amOk, here goes nothing:
AG, stop spamming AG's blog or we'll contact AG and have AG send you to Banned Camp until AG sees fit to allow you back! So stop it, AG!
Sep 29 at 10:48amFREAK TAKE A HIKE AND GET THE FUCK OUT!!!
Sep 29 at 10:48amCapsie, that's not a formal complaint. That's called an rhino stampede.
Sep 29 at 10:49amHead Troll, that's brilliant! LOL! Take warning, AG!
Sep 29 at 10:49amAG, teehee!
I took a stab at a chorus earlier today where the townspeople vow to go after Baba Yaga. Since we never got TW's awesome title into the song.
Sep 29 at 10:49amOh, Capsie. This is our fuckery parade! You get out!
Sep 29 at 10:49amNoooo, not Chester! Not Chester! That little girl has every right to go after Paris!
Sep 29 at 10:50amYeah, Craps ! Va te faire foutre ! :)
Sep 29 at 10:51amLMAO, AG! Thanks! AB deserves more credit because she came up with the basis for the song!
Sep 29 at 10:51amCapsie, what is drpamful always saying? You can't walk up to somebody's front door and tell them to get the fuck out!
Sep 29 at 10:52amAG GET OFF YOUR OWN BLOG!!!
Sep 29 at 10:52amCaps, how are you going to tell someone to leave their own blog? That is flat out insane. Even Baba Yaga is scratching her head over that one. And because she has fleas.
Sep 29 at 10:53amHead Troll, I love it! FFP got his smelliness down pat!
Sep 29 at 10:53amDQ, you don't get to do that. You have your own fuckery parade, and it's called Overeaters Anonymous. Go fart around over there.
Sep 29 at 10:54amHello, sweet AG! Love this post!
Sep 29 at 10:54amHead Troll, that is awesome! He really is full of shit...and smells like it!
Sep 29 at 10:55amLike the AG said, FFP is a genius !Always brilliant !
Sep 29 at 10:55amLMAO, AB and Jen!
Sep 29 at 10:55amThat bit on Ellen was funny. Goat Bitch, when she said, "you can say two things" she was handing you the rope. And, fortunately for Goat Bitch, he can't tie a noose for shit. But, he tried so, so, so hard.
Sep 29 at 10:56amHahahaha, AG! You nailed Paris yet again. What a fucking joke! She needs to disappear now. Her "career" is over. Nobody wants to see a wrinkly bitch getting drunk and going to nightclubs.
Sep 29 at 10:57amCapsie, you are such a tool!
Sep 29 at 10:57amHead Troll, I love FFP! Fine work!
Sep 29 at 10:58amOF, but we should be grateful to the loons. They keep bringing up Goat Bitch's disgraceful interviews and I do love to count the ways he made himself look bad.
Sep 29 at 10:58amLittle girl for the win! She has Paris' number!
Sep 29 at 10:58amAB, that is hilarious. He's too dumb to hang himself! He can't even do that right!
Sep 29 at 10:58amMaybe they threw some kind of STD Awareness party? That's why Paris showed up!
Sep 29 at 11:01amThe loons have actually stooped to telling our lovely AG to get out? What the hell?
Sep 29 at 11:02amRMG, good point! STD Awareness Week!
Sep 29 at 11:03amRMG, you would think that a few terrifying photos would suffice. But maybe the party was sponsored by Benadryl, so they had to expose those allergic to shellfish to a significant risk.
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