Crabcakes Has A New Ferrari
Just for the record, this may be the first time Paris Hilton has ever ridden something hard and Italian without having to bleach her anus first! After all, Paris is a woman of class and panache. A bleached anus always gives off a good first impression. It says, “Yeah, I’ll let you fuck me in the ass, but I’m gonna be coy about it!”
And why do I have the sinking feeling that when Paris first got into the car, she bent over and started giving head to the gear shift?
“No!” the car salesman cried, lurching forward. “Stop that! You’ll damage the gearbox!”
Oh, car salesman! You are so naïve! Paris Hilton has been walking around with a damaged gearbox for years. I would make a joke about pistons, but I think the pistons are under the hood, right? Oh, who fucking cares! If I need engine advice, I’ll just walk to the nearest golf course and pick out the dyke with the fluffiest mullet!
Anyway, here is our favorite vagina rash driving around Beverly Hills in her brand new Ferrari. According to The Daily Mail: “The heiress took her brand new, $280,000 Ferrari for a spin. She was joined by sister Nicky, who sat in the passenger seat of the bright red convertible for their shopping trip to Barney's New York.”
And since Paris is a racist bitch, you know she took ten hours to decide which color to go with: “Do you have it in white? No? Dammit! That was my first choice! Well, I certainly won’t take it in black, brown, or yellow! Speaking of yellow, do you know of any good chink restaurants around here? I went to a chink restaurant once and the chef named a dish after me. He called it Suk Mai Wang! It was a cream-based soup with lots of slippery dicks in it! Delicious! It tasted like the toilet seat down at the free clinic!”
PS: Thank you, de Cosmos, for the link!
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Hahahahaha! Paris would definitely know what a toilet seat tastes like!
Dec 6 at 9:53amBy the way, where can I order Suk Mai Wang? My rude neighbors down the street could really use some.
Dec 6 at 9:54amBuahahahahahahaha! This stupid bitch gets to ride around in a new Ferrari? Unbelievable!
Dec 6 at 9:56amSacrebleu,that was so good ! I'm still laughing :)
Dec 6 at 9:56amSuk Mai Wang with slippery dicks ? Awesome !
LMAO! Already my morning is so much better after this post! Paris is a fucking disease. The CDC should put out a warning about her.
Dec 6 at 9:58amFrench Knight, that part killed me!
Dec 6 at 9:59amI love that you call Paris a walking vagina rash! Accurate!
Dec 6 at 10:00amHEY FREAK!!! I JUST GOT THROUGH YOUR FIREWALL!! ALL I HAD TO DO WAS USE THE INTERNET DOWN AT THE LIBRARY! HAHAHAHA!
Dec 6 at 10:01amOh, Capsie! You are the master of disguise! By the way, there's a very special post for you, courtesy of Pammykins!
Dec 6 at 10:02amCapsie, thank you for letting me know. I just blocked that IP address as well. Have a good rest of the day!
Dec 6 at 10:03amBy the way, I love you all. Thank you so very much for your sweet comments. You mean the world to me!
Dec 6 at 10:04amCapsie got around the ban? HAHAHAHAHA! She should have kept her mouth shut! Now she's blocked in two places!
Greek Girl, we love you too! So glad you're back!
Dec 6 at 10:06amAG, LMAO! Good work! Love you!
Dec 6 at 10:07amWow, Capsie! You would go to any lengths to get to the blog! You know you love it! And big hugs to you, AG!
Dec 6 at 10:08amoh, capsie. hahahahahahahahahaha!
Dec 6 at 10:10amSo Capsie waddled all the way to the library just to post something? That sounds like love to me!
Dec 6 at 10:12amCapsie tried to escape from Banned Camp ? Who does she think she is ? Michael Scofield ? Hahahahahaha !
Dec 6 at 10:13amLMAO! Capsie tried to escape from Banned Camp and got caught! Greek Girl, you rock!
Dec 6 at 10:14amHandsome, LOL! ;)
Dec 6 at 10:14amOh man, Capsie! Just when I think you can't get any funnier!
Dec 6 at 10:16amCapsie, nice try! Thanks for the laugh!
AG, I love this post! I'm still laughing!
Dec 6 at 10:17amGBT, exactly! She went out of her way to try to get back on the blog! That's what we call loooooove!
Dec 6 at 10:18amCAPSIE!!! You used your one sneak comment to yell at AG! ONG- you could have told me Happy Halloween. Oh Capsie, why why.
Dec 6 at 10:18amHer life is really empty without the blog !
Dec 6 at 10:19amMaybe she can buy greetings cards for Pammykins when she'll be back from the library ? :)
pammykins, lmao! she is so rude!
Dec 6 at 10:20amhandsome, yes! greeting cards are perfect!
Dec 6 at 10:20amPammykins, LMAOOOOO!
Dec 6 at 10:21amOMG, Capsie tried to waddle out of her confinement! That's hysterical!
Dec 6 at 10:23amaggm, i know! that was the highlight of her life!
Dec 6 at 10:24amOh, tank ass! You're always good for a laugh!
Dec 6 at 10:26amWhat the hell, Capsie? Still no "Happy Halloween" for Pammykins? Disgraceful!
- Team AG
Dec 6 at 10:27amThanks for cracking me up though! That was fucking funny!
- Team AG
Dec 6 at 10:28amCapsie, what a daring escape! You almost made it! Too bad you weigh 350 pounds. AG caught up to you!
Dec 6 at 10:29amAG, so glad to read your hysterical posts again, sweetie!
Dec 6 at 10:30amWelcome back, BYBB! It's been ages!
Dec 6 at 10:30amSo now we know how to get around the ban. Just get a new IP address. Good to know!
Dec 6 at 10:31amTJ, that might work for 3 seconds before AG spots the new IP address and bans it.
Dec 6 at 10:32amAre you that desperate to post here, loon? That says a lot about you. You need a life!
Dec 6 at 10:33amTJ, LMAO! Keep bringing the crazy!
Dec 6 at 10:34amTJ, don't go getting any ideas!
Dec 6 at 10:45amScottish Ho, only 350? Capsie must be on a hunger strike! But it didn't last long. Capsie's escape from Banned Camp resembles Monica's escape from fat camp - on the pretense of trying to rescue a squirrel, she was in fact trying to eat it.
Dec 6 at 11:44amJen, LMAO! You always speak the truth!
Dec 6 at 11:47amHEY FREAK, PARIS IS A FREAK JUST LIKE YOU!!!
Dec 6 at 4:52pmDQ, my twin is nothing like the racist cunt. My twin is a wonderful, sweet woman with genuine talent and good looks that Crabcakes could only ever dream of. You might have a thing or two in common with Crabcakes, though - racism, bigotry - that's two things right there.
Dec 6 at 9:04pmHas Paris ever slept with BY? I don't think so... Paris still looks like Paris, after all.
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