Snooki Pissed On The Floor Of A Club
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You know, back when I was about four years old, we used to live next door to this adorable old woman named Mrs. Cushing. I had no problem whatsoever with Mrs. Cushing but I certainly had a problem with her cat, Jellybean. I swear to God, that cat was an avid worshiper of Satan. If you were to clean out her litter box, you would probably find black candles and vials of blood buried underneath all the litter.
Anyway, Jellybean was a gigantic cunt. There is no other way to put it. Near the end of my fourth birthday party, Jellybean jumped up onto the picnic table and urinated on part of my birthday cake. Thank God everyone had already had a piece, but thanks to fucking Jellybean, THEY COULDN’T HAVE SECONDS!
Which brings me to my ultimate point! If I had seen Snooki pissing all over the floor of my club, that bitch wouldn’t have had time to run into the bathroom and spritz her vagina with whore perfume! No. I would have grabbed her by the back of the neck, dragged her ass over to the puddle of piss, and pushed her nose in it! BAD! Bad Swamp Midget! This is the only way you are going to learn!
Yeah, great! Now I’m irritated as hell! No, Snooki, not about you! About Jellybean! What kind of cat jumps up onto a picnic table to piss on a birthday cake? What, you couldn’t urinate in the sandbox like a normal cat? You fucking did it on purpose, you satanic son of a bitch! I know you did! And I loved that cake, too! It was a Barbie cake and it came with a set of pretty pink barrettes!
Okay, you know what - THAT’S IT! Where is Jellybean buried? The only way to settle this score is to find her grave and piss all over it. Yes, and because this sounds perfectly rational to me, I am going to make an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Clearly, I need to be on anti-psychotic medication. Yeah. The sooner the better. *walks around mumbling to myself about squirrels trying to take over the world with help from the Chihuahuas*
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Can't say I'm surprised. I mean, Swamp Thing tried to pottytrain her, but after wiping down the walls for the 20 time, it just said "f*ck it, let'er piss where ever"....
Feb 7 at 10:33amSquirrels taking over the world? Oh crap, has Foamy finally started putting his plan in motion?
Feb 7 at 10:34amBahaha oh dear.... This is just too funny. Poor 4yr old AG
Feb 7 at 10:35amTwin, what I get from this is that Swamp Midget thinks through her actions less than a fucking cat. At least Jellybean aimed, even if it was at your cake! Whenever Walter has an "accident," it's never accidental. Last time he did was by the bedroom of our other roommate who was leaving to move in with his cunty succubus of a girlfriend. Literally the day after he told us. Walter knows what he's doing.
Feb 7 at 10:37amWho invites SatanCat to a little girl's party? Rude! Remember the chickens!
I was trying to recall what tacky ho peed all over a night club. I knew it wasn't BY because she stays home. Not Madonna because she doesn't pee, she emits liquid. Not BritBrit because she gets sectioned every time she puts a toe out of line. Not Courtney because why did you build a nightclub in her peeing place? Not Rudolph because her parents aren't out in the street pitching a fit about it. I actually blamed poor Demi because she went to Miley's party and used WhipIts. So, that would have given her the trifecta. But, nope. Stupid Swamp Midget.
Feb 7 at 10:38amBuahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Feb 7 at 10:39amOh, I mean Courtney Love. I usually just call her Skank.
Feb 7 at 10:41amAG, I feel bad for laughing but that's fucking hysterical! Jen, YES! Jellybean had enough sense to aim! And Walter is expensive!
Feb 7 at 10:42amAB, dear lord! Courtney Love is such a mess and "skank" is a good name for her!
Feb 7 at 10:43amOF, yes! Now it's Walter's mommy moving out next month - I'm going to miss them both!
Feb 7 at 10:43amHead Troll, LMAO!
Feb 7 at 10:43amOh no, Jen! So sorry to hear that!
Feb 7 at 10:44amSnooki is really a f*cking mess...
And that's why I don't like cat :)
Feb 7 at 10:45am*cats
Feb 7 at 10:46amYeah, she's moving to New York - she's a photographer, so there's more work there than here.
Feb 7 at 10:46amJen, I wish her the best of luck! Hope she finds work there!
Feb 7 at 10:47amBahaha! Jellybean is Satanic! I love it! And Snooki needs to wake up! BITCH, YOU ARE DIRTY!
Feb 7 at 10:48amJen, we really missed you these past couple of days!
Feb 7 at 10:48amGBT, I missed you hos too! Been busy!
Feb 7 at 10:49amJellybean is obviously in cahoots with Baba Yaga! Not CLASSY!
Feb 7 at 10:50amScottish ho, yes! I was thinking that, with the vials of blood and potty play!
Feb 7 at 10:51amjen! *pounces on jen*
Feb 7 at 10:51amOF, yes Skank is a good name for Skank. There are only a few Skanks at Skanky as Skank. Baba Yaga, for example.
Snooki is not really a world class skank, she is more like some weird, nasty little thing that should pipe down and behave like she lives indoors.
Feb 7 at 10:52amhandsome come cuddle with me! *spoons handsome*
Feb 7 at 10:52amChris! Hello, gorgeous!
Feb 7 at 10:52amJen, great minds think alike, my classy friend!
Feb 7 at 10:53amSGF, what's happening ? No hug today ? I'm a bit disappointed :(
Feb 7 at 10:53amI love your use of the word "Skank" AB! Very decadent and so true!
Feb 7 at 10:53amYou got spooned, Handsome!
Feb 7 at 10:54amOh, I just read your message. That's a relief :)
*cuddles SGF very tightly*
Feb 7 at 10:54amSGF, you arent the only one in a cuddly mood thismorning *mournful face*
Feb 7 at 10:55am*cuddles falling angel* better, sweetie?
Feb 7 at 10:56amYou can't sleep, mon ange ?
Feb 7 at 10:57am*leaving SGF's arms for a few seconds and spooning mon ange*
FA, as someone who was woken up by a icecold foot to the face, I volunteer. *opens arms*
Feb 7 at 10:57amhandsome, how could i ever forget about you? you're my sexy knight!
Feb 7 at 10:57amA threesome cuddle ? :)
Feb 7 at 10:57amawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! head troll, that was so cute! just made me love you even more!
Feb 7 at 10:57amFA, three person cuddle? You classy b*tch!
Feb 7 at 10:57amOkay, Head Troll that was just beyond sweet! You get a hug!
Feb 7 at 10:58amSorry, cheri. I needed warmth...so cold this week...
Feb 7 at 10:58amWait! *1.....2.....3......4*
That would be a foursome!
Feb 7 at 10:58amHead Troll! *Cuddles*
Feb 7 at 10:58amMon ange , you're a lucky woman :)
Feb 7 at 10:59amStill don't know how my face ended up in such close proximity to a foot, but cold it was! Was like sleeping next to Frosty inside a freezer. But we won't dress warmly.....no.........
Feb 7 at 11:02amSnooki needs to be institutionalized. Nuff said.
Feb 7 at 11:47amShe's working on it.
Feb 7 at 11:54amI feel so expensive! Thanks guys!
Feb 7 at 3:05pmBy the way, I just wanted to inform you all that i clicked on the video and it said "SORRY BUT WE DO NOT OFFER THIS VIDEO TO USERS IN YOUR REGION" ...well I just think that's RUDE. How SHALL I entertain myself. Oh wait, I'm currently managing my parents farm *goes and musters sheep*
Feb 7 at 4:17pmAustralians are not allowed to see Snooki wet herself ?
Feb 7 at 4:33pmWell, I think you're very lucky, mon ange...and not only because you had a foursome cuddle.
well when you put it that way...
Feb 7 at 4:52pmPost new comment