Baba Yaga Has Pajama Parties With Her Kids
First of all, I think the writers over at OK! magazine confused Baba Yaga with Goat Bitch because for some reason, I have a hard time picturing a two-thousand-year-old corpse giggling her way through a pajama party. Goat Bitch, on the other hand, probably showed up in a lacy nightgown and proceeded to chat about his boyfriend and how they kissed with tongues behind the 7-Eleven on Castro Street.
And for some reason, I can also picture Goat Bitch getting his hair braided by Vivienne while Zahara paints his toenails and tells him how pretty his eyelashes are.
“Oh, these old things?” Goat Bitch lisps, coyly batting his eyelashes. “Ugh! I hate them! But it’s awfully sweet of you to say so, Zahara! Gosh, will you be my best friend and trade glitter pencils with me after school?”
“Get fucked, bitch,” Zahara says, continuing to paint his nails.
Anyway, according to an interview with OK! magazine, Baba Yaga and Goat Bitch have pajama parties with the kids before bedtime: “Our happiest moments are probably in the evening before the kids go to bed. We often play together in our pajamas after dinner and it's like having a party sometimes where we're all dancing and jumping around and being silly. That's when you really feel the beauty of having a family. It's our little world."
Yeah, and for those of you who are wondering – yes, I did manage to find the unedited version of that quote before OK! magazine cleaned it up. And here it is:
“My happiest moments are when those fucking brats get locked up in their cages for the night. That’s when I put on my lingerie and meet Jenny Shimizu down in the basement. We often play together in the basement when the brats are asleep. I especially love jumping up and down on her penis. You have no idea how large that woman is. When I go to the bathroom the next morning, my urine usually squirts out in three different directions. Yeah, that’s when you really feel the beauty of fucking a bulldyke. It’s our own little world.”
PS: I think I may have found the cartoon version of Baba Yaga and Goat Bitch. Please take a moment to view the short clip and after that, repeat after me: “SWEEP OUT MY SARCOPHAGUS!”